


where we're going, you can be anyone

by Anonymous



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen, Trans Character, Trans Zuko (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, he gets one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25908466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Looking in the mirror feels bad. It's like wearing clothes that are too tight, or having damp hair. It makes Zuko uncomfortable in a way he doesn't have the right words to explain.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 292
Collections: Anonymous





	where we're going, you can be anyone

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this to vent & project my insecurities.  
> zuko is trans, he accidentally outs himself to the gaang.  
> disclaimer: i haven't finished avatar and i have no idea how dialogue tags work  
> title is from pilgrims by new dialogue

Looking in the mirror feels bad. It's like wearing clothes that are too tight, or having damp hair. It makes Zuko uncomfortable in a way he doesn't have the right words to explain.

He knows that most people aren't happy with how they look. He's heard enough girls complaining about their reflections to understand that it's normal to feel self-conscious. But this is different, he's pretty sure.

He makes eye contact with himself in the mirror. His hair is shaggy, needs to be trimmed. He pointedly avoids thinking about his scar. His body is small and thin, the product of not having enough to eat for the last few years. 

He looks at his chest. His breasts are small enough to be invisible underneath his clothes. He knows this isn't really considered a desirable trait, but it makes him happy in a way he doesn't understand. He pushes his hands against his chest and turns to the side, trying to imagine what he would look like with no breasts at all. He likes that thought.

He can hear Uncle's footsteps on the stairs, so he hastily throws on his clothes and tries to pretend he's been reading. Uncle is not fooled, of course, but he also knows when to leave a subject alone, and he does.

Zuko works the tea shop for a few hours. He honestly likes the work. He can drift off and imagine fantasy worlds that are vastly nicer than the one he lives in. 

He drops two cups of jasmine tea off to a pair of old men sitting together. "Thank you, young man!" One of them says. 

"Yes, always good to see a boy who knows the value of hard work," the other adds. Zuko goes to correct them - _actually, I'm not-_ but the warm feeling spreading in his chest stops him. For a moment he wonders if he spilled tea. But this is no physical feeling.

This is how happiness feels, he thinks.

* * *

He's quiet that night at dinner. Iroh notices, as always, but he doesn't comment. 

Zuko can't stop thinking. The men, and his body, and _young man_ , the good feeling. He doesn't know what it all means.

"Uncle..." he starts uncertainly. Words have never come easy to him. "Do I... Do I have to be a girl?" He's not sure if that's the right thing to say.

Iroh hums. His face is blank, betraying nothing, and Zuko tenses for the inevitable blow. He knows the punishment for disobedience. 

"Now why do you ask that, Zuko?" Iroh's voice is as kind as ever, and Zuko is so confused by his lack of anger that he isn't even sure how to answer. "Do you not want to be a girl?" Iroh prompts after a few moments of silence.

Zuko shakes his head instinctively before he even really registers the question. 

Iroh makes a contemplative noise and Zuko braces himself once again. If his father would brand him for speaking out, he could be killed for this. But Iroh, being Iroh, is completely unfazed. 

"Then, will you be my nephew?" The word _nephew_ feels like a firework going off in his chest and he nods rapidly. 

They don't speak of it much beyond that. Iroh helps Zuko bind his chest, and cuts his hair to what is apparently the latest Earth Kingdom style for boys. And from that day on, Zuko is Iroh's nephew, and he is a boy. 

* * *

It isn't something that ever comes up in conversation with his newfound allies. He is a boy - almost a man now, really - and they have no reason to believe otherwise. 

He's learned that _I used to be a girl_ isn't something you go around announcing. At best you get no reaction, and at worst you get a fist to the stomach and slurs spat in your face. Besides, it's not important. For them, anyways.

He likes the others, not that he lets them know it, and he's not jeopardizing their precarious truce. 

Well, that's his plan, at least. Then a sabertooth-moose-lion lands a well-placed kick while he's out hunting and then he's on the ground wheezing. He knows from experience that he's broken at least some of his ribs. _Fuck_.

His pain tolerance is good enough that he doesn't scream as Sokka carries him to camp, but he's close. Distantly, he feels himself being set down on a soft surface, and he sees five pairs of anxious eyes staring down at him. Katara's gentle hands start removing his clothes, and he's present enough to snap at them all to leave.

Katara stays, of course, and so does Sokka. She peels off his shirt, and stares at the bandages wrapped around his body in confusion. "You were injured?"

He just stares at her and tries very hard not to cry.

Sokka cuts through his bandages, and behind all the pain, he feels fear. This isn't how he wanted this to happen.

Sokka finally gets him barechested and he doesn't seem to comprehend what he's seeing. He mumbles something at Katara, who looks over. Unlike her brother, she has a bit of tact, and covers him with his discarded shirt.

Sokka practically runs from the tent in a way that would've been funny if Zuko wasn't starting to panic. He can hear voices and laughter from outside the tent, and he desperately hopes he hasn't just ruined his only chance of a semi-normal life.

"Is it okay if I-" Katara mimes removing the shirt, unable to look him in the eyes, and Zuko nods, because what choice does he have?

Her hands are gentle, like she's afraid to touch him, and he hates it. "I don't need your pity," he snaps at her. 

"I'm sorry," she responds, and she sounds so genuine that Zuko deflates, all his fight draining out.

She heals him using waterbending, and when that reaches its limit she re-wraps his torso with a much cleaner bandage. She includes his chest, too, but not tight enough to flatten it out, just hold it in place.

He pulls on his shirt and they sit in awkward silence for a moment before Katara speaks. "It's okay, you know," she says softly. "I've heard how the Fire Nation treats people like you, but we aren't all that bad." 

"You mean you aren't... you aren't mad?" His voice shakes.

Instead of answering, Katara leans over and gives him a gentle hug, careful of his ribs.

Then she exits the tent, and Zuko follows nervously behind.

Everyone is gathered around the campfire, and their conversation stops as soon as Zuko steps into view. So Sokka told them, then.

He takes a seat that's a careful distance away from the others, and serves himself a bowl of stew. The chatter starts up again, but it's awkward and stilted. In one of the many long silences, Zuko stands up and announces, "I'm a boy." His voice is much more confident than he feels. "I have a female body, but I'm a boy." 

Nobody reacts outright. They mostly look indifferent, or in Sokka's case, confused. But nobody is hostile, and they don't hate him.

He sits back down. It only takes a few minutes for the gang to act like nothing had happened, laughing and rowdy. 

Later, as the sun sets and everyone prepares to sleep, Sokka stops him.

"Hey, man. I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I was a jerk, and I shouldn't have done that. I still respect you, I just--" Zuko cuts him off with a hug, and Sokka is so surprised he immediately shuts up.

"It's okay, Sokka. Thank you."


End file.
